New placement. New rules...

Oh dear. I'm not very good at this blogging malarkey am I? 17th January was the last one... Using my marvelous Mathematical skills I can tell you that was over a month ago.

So since then, much has happened. After finishing at Norbury Manor I was delighted, nay, thrilled, at the prospect of having sessions at IoE again. We welcomed each other back like comrades after war, we swapped harrowing tales of misdemeanour and rudeness, fights and confrontations, and bitchy rumours about other student teachers. But we had survived Placement 1 without failure or 'Cause for Concern', every student teacher's nightmare. We also had celebratory hummus after sessions.

Two weeks flew past and before we knew it we were back in school once again, for School Placement 2. I'm sure I mentioned it previously but my new school is Haberdasher Aske's Hatcham College in New Cross... formerly a Girls Grammar, then a mixed yet still selective state school, now a fully fledged mixed comprehensive academy in the heart of New Cross. Did I mention it's in New Cross. Wedged between Peckham and Lewisham? That's the one.

I'm actually 5 weeks into the placement now. During my time here I've discovered lots of new things about teaching and teachers and pupils and things. Mostly about what it's like to work in a school where hardly any of the other teachers want to be there. The pupils aren't actually that bad at all - obviously there are some pains in the backside and some with filthy attitudes to learning and teachers in general...

"Miss she never teaches us! All she does is go through an example on the board and then get us to do questions! Sometimes we do other stuff too, like games and activities and that, but she doesn't know how to teach us properly!"

Some kids these days. Don't know they're born.

I think what's mainly so difficult at this placement is the attitudes of the other teachers and members of staff here. Early on in my placement, one lunchtime, I found myself sitting among a throng of teaching assistants while we were all eating some lunch. The conversation quickly turned to the morning's lessons;

"Oh my god, today I was in this student teacher's lesson. She was so shit, she couldn't keep them under control."
"Yeah I know. These student teachers are rubbish, and they always look down on us. They don't know anything about teaching."

No shit Sherlock. Obviously they didn't know I was a student teacher, but I just couldn't help getting annoyed. Doesn't the phrase 'student teacher' tell you something? We're not even qualified - of course we know fuck all!

In addition to this, there is something that feels so... lax, about the attitudes of the other teachers. At Norbury, all the Maths teachers cared about their lessons; even if they had 7 lessons in one day, they would still make the effort to make some of their lessons different, and interesting. Caroline and I were always remarking about how much pressure we felt there was to match up to their standards, and as a result our lesson plans are now top-notch. But here, most lessons aren't even thought about until they arrive. It's a case of 'open the textbook, here's a topic we haven't done yet, do example, sit back while pupils get on with it'.

And the nightmare of the student teacher: I'd planned a double lesson (that's 1h40) for a Year 8 on Probability. Only to discover they had already done it earlier in the year, and the class teacher couldn't be bothered to remember, or check my lesson plan and tell me that they had already covered it. Did he help me out at that point? Did he fuck. I then exemplified the typical Hatcham Maths teacher, chose another topic out of the textbook, did an example altogether, and let them get on with it. But what did they expect me to do? Pull out another lesson from the bag that I'd done last year? I've been doing this for under 20 weeks.

Oh well. I'm learning a lot about Behaviour Management. Like the fact that no-one knows how to help me deal with it. I don't think this is anyone's fault, really. So I'm partly still trying to find my own way, but I'm just so glad I'm only here for another 5 weeks after Easter.

Hopefully I won't need it. For my NQT year at St James' Senior School for Boys!

Quite simply can't wait.

And so Placement 1 comes to an end...

Oh dear Lord. One more week and one more day, and my time at Norbury Manor will be at an end.

I know, it's so sad.

Despite all my ramblings about how this placement has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life, I really don't want to leave! I'm only just getting used to the way things are done; I know all my pupil's names (mostly), I know the sanctions/reward system, I know the school day almost instinctively and I wake up 1/2 minutes before my alarm goes off every day. That's some serious school-day instinct.

And as I suspected, things are getting easier. No longer is it taking me 2/3 hours to plan one lesson - I can knock out an emergency wholly textbook-based lesson in under 20 minutes, which is always useful. I'm even managing to fit in some time in the evenings to chill at home (!) I know, shock horror!

However things are still challenging. It's strange - my mood seems to go in a cycle week to week, really good and upbeat for one week, the next week I seriously consider leaving the course and everything feels like a farce. But this is better than feeling like the latter all the time (like I did before), there are moments when I really, really enjoy this job.

This feels like a good time to reflect on a particularly horrid bottom-set Year 10 lesson from Tuesday.  Things started of badly from last week, when I handed back their Christmas Test Papers for them to discover they all achieved between 32% and 48%, with the exception of two very hard-working girls who got 64% and 70%. The mood in the class was sour; no-one could accept that Felicia* (name change again) had got 70% without cheating or having extra help from someone.

In actual fact she did get help from someone - her school teachers. Despite being orphaned at a terribly young age, in care and from a different country altogether, she really makes a mammoth effort to succeed. She stays behind at lunchtimes and after school, to make use of extra Maths sessions that we hold for all pupils, and was so worried about the test that she was in tears on the day of the test. And as a result she scored highest in the exam and is moving up sets. And guess who's the most furious about the whole situation?

The return of Shania

I've just come to realise what a nasty piece of work Shania is. She is not in the slightest bit pleased about Felicia scoring top of the class, and herself only scoring 42% (almost bottom). As a result she has been an absolute nightmare in lessons, and last Tuesday was the worst. She made no effort to understand the work, and was up and out of her seat almost constantly, doing her African dancing and singing. I could hear her making sly, underhand comments about those around her, and kept claiming "My bones hurt, I fell down the stairs". Which I knew was a lie, but if you say that doesn't it just causes a further confrontation...?

The others were hardly any better, making comments like "Miss I REALLY don't want to be here! No-one's listening to you, I don't understand the work and I can't be bothered! Why do we have to learn this?"

... you know when you have those moments, where you can feel yourself emulating a figure of the past? It was this moment when I personified my old teachers and said;

"This will be on your GCSE exam. I'm not doing this for my benefit, I've already got my Maths GCSE."

... which I think has made them hate me slightly. But it's OK, I've only got to teach them last lesson this Friday... >.< we'll see how that goes.

In other news, I have an interview for a Maths NQT position at Wembley High Technology College! The sheer fright of it all. I'd better prepare an answer to the question "Why did you want to become a teacher?" because honestly I've got no idea...

Truthfully...

So.

So much for keeping up my reflective journal of school-time, it's been more than a month since my last post... reason being it's been a pretty shit month. The post is called truthfully because truthfully...

I've been seriously considering giving up this PGCE. So seriously that I've applied for about 5 jobs which have nothing to do with teaching in any way shape or form. The reasons are plentiful, and I know they're valid because everyone else on the Maths PGCE has agreed with me;

1) The children are horrible. They have no qualms about saying "Miss this lesson is really boring" or "You're a shit teacher", and I'm sensing a 'blame culture' which has resulted in everything being the teacher's fault. If a pupil does badly in a test, even if the rest of the class did well, it's the teacher's fault. "I wasn't taught properly...". Pupils (particularly my Year 10's) refuse to work if the lesson isn't 'fun'. Which brings me nicely on to  my next reason.

2) There has to be a big song and dance in every lesson. Thinking about Maths in particular, if pupils have to work through questions from a textbook for a lesson, it's not a 'fun' lesson and they therefore aren't being taught properly.

Well I'm sorry. Sorry that there's no colourful puzzle to fill in, no exciting little activity for you to faff around with for 50 minutes while I desperately try and get you to do some mathematical thinking. But if you're going to sit a 2-hour Maths GCSE exam in June and get at least a C, you're going to have to develop some sort of discipline to sit and actually do some Mathematics. Because really, that's a vital skill you need for Maths; to be able to patiently work through problems, going along carefully and usually for long periods of time. How do you think Andrew Wiles proved Fermat's Last Theorem? Sitting around on his arse waiting for someone to show him how to do it? With a colourful presentation, and pretty little pictures and boxes to tick?

Cor. Haven't had a good rant like that in ages. Next point;

3) I, personally, am trying to run like the wind before I can even pull myself up on two feet. I've always been like this; I hated being shown how to do something, I always wanted to just get on and do the fucking thing. But I'm now realising with this that I've just made things much harder for myself, and I'm actually slowing down and asking for help. Which is always good.

4) I think I'll make this the last point, since I've talked about it already in my last blog. The total and utter hopelessness and futile attempts at lesson planning. I've been spending (as I've said before) about 2-3 hours on each lesson I teach. And that's 9 lessons a week (when it's not disrupted by some shit like Target Setting Day or International Dress Day) so mathematically that's 18-27 hours a week of planning. On top of the 36 hours spent at school/IoE. And it always turns out that what you've done is shit. You think it's great! Look, here's a great graph I spent ages creating from scratch. But no. It is shit.

Also I've only got one working eye, and a shitty laptop which corrupted all my hard work. Although one of those problems has been sorted now, through some kindly and most timely financial assistance. Unfortunately my eye's still squonk, and has been for about a month now. I've been commenting that it's hard enough to keep control of a class with two functional eyes, let alone one. Ideally I'd have three, but that won't be happening any time soon.

Anyway. Today's been the first day I've not felt like staying in bed crying, in over a month. So I feel I must record this day, and refer back to it when the real hard work starts after Christmas... I think it was mainly down to a Year 10 lesson I took today. You know, the class with Shania* in.

The class didn't start well. With my Title, Date and Lesson Objective ready to note down, Shania* and Melanie* entered the lesson having just had a fight, and about 3 seconds after entering the classroom Melanie stormed out, commenting "I'm not staying in a classroom with that fucking prick." I couldn't run after her and leave the class, but luckily another class teacher had spotted what had happened and rushed after Melanie to calm her down. That just left me with Shania and the rest of the class, at which point I thought 'Oh fuck' because I thought it would all kick off from that point.

But from observation, I know that Shania is actually extremely bright. She shouldn't be in set 7 Maths, but she's there only for her behavioural issues. When she actually managed to get stuff written down on paper, she finished her work before everybody else, got onto extension tasks, helped others (if somewhat brusquely; "WHY CAN'T YOU DO THIS SHIT MAN IT'S WELL EAAASSYYY") and contributed to class discussions. So I'm thinking I'm dealing with her in the right way - lots of other teachers seem to comment about her madness in their lessons most of the time, and she is always being put on report. As for the rest of the class, under my new-found stern manner, they were much better behaved and actually managed to pay attention when I asked. After about 3 minutes of stern instructions.

But crucially, this lesson has helped me actually see progress in my teaching skills, and some proof that actually not everything I'm doing is complete and utter bollocks. The pupils did inform me today that they hated Maths, but when the buzzer for lunch went off they said "Oh, is that the end already?!" which was something I really wanted to hear.

I think the only thing that's stopped me from going insane and emigrating to Wales (again) is the fact that, once I'm up in front of a class teaching, I absolutely love it. It's so good to see pupils go "OOOOH that's so obvious now!" and to watch them all follow my instructions and get on with some work under my direction. I am quite bossy after all... and when they're engaged in the lesson, you get a real buzz from it. I think it's just all the other stuff that's happened, around the teaching, that's got me down recently. I'm hoping from today it'll all be uphill from here!

The day Shania* was in a REALLY bad mood...

I know every teacher's dream is to teach a class which is completely compliant, hard-working and amiable, but actually this is not my dream, as a student teacher. It's soooo boooring observing a lesson where no pupil is out of place, no pupil needs help because they all know how to listen and follow instructions, and no pupil wants to talk to you because they're too busy working. I just end up looking like a nuisance, as much use as a fridge in an igloo.

I have to say I'm loving the more challenging classes, the ones who act up and seem like they are impossible to control. I admit to being only ever so slightly dismayed after being timetabled to take over a bottom-set GCSE class ("WHYYY?" I recall myself saying) who will, at best, get a C in GCSE Maths. But I think they are actually the most interesting.

Firstly, they're so easily distracted. If they are upset or roused, it will take the rest of the lesson to restore a good working atmosphere which isn't punctuated by song/dance/banter/friendly abuse/etc. Their usual teacher is so good for them; she's got glacial patience, never reacting to their bizarre mannerisms and is calm, clear, and concise. That is going to be my mantra for this class in particular - be calm, clear and concise.

Or just calm will work.

They also need a lot more pointers. They will not see that there are two triangles in this picture;

one with two sides of length x and a, and another with two sides of length x+y and a+b. Things need to be repeated again and again, using various approaches. But in the end, when they are actually engaged with the work, they are all perfectly capable.

One student in particular, who for confidential reasons I shall name Shania*, has a reputation around the school and the staff room for being an absolute nightmare. I can see why; she talks very, VERY loud and fast, is very intimidating, and has a really bad attitude problem. She goes like this a lot; "MmmmHMMMM" and huffs around the classroom like a tiny bad-tempered elephant. I decided compile a small list of other things she said during today's double lesson;

"Don't even TALK to me today."

"Miss it smells like, rank in here today. I'ma put the fan on."

"I need some BARE sweets man, if no-one gives me none I'ma BUY them from the shop, you get me?"

... and so on. I was warned that she likes to test new teachers, and push the boundaries to see how far she can get. So then the conversation turned to me.

"Miss, what's your name?!"

"I'm called Miss Mitchell. What's your name?"

"I'm Shania innit. So are you like from Eastenders?"

at which point the rest of the class (Mean Girls style) said "Oh my God Shania you can't just ask people if they're from Eastenders." 

The conversation continued.

"Miss, where are you going for lunch?"

"Erm the staff room probably. Why is this relevant?"

"Because I want MacDonalds really badleee,  PLEASE will you go and get me some because I'm not allowed to leave the school and that because I'm like only in Year 10."

"No I'm sorry, I can't do that."

"Go on Miss, get me Nando's or sumfink!"

"Sorry Shania."

"Oh well FUCK you then!"

...

What I hadn't realised was that her regular teacher was out of the room at this point. Leaving me to react as I saw fit. Which was to give her my most incredulous, dangerous look and say;

"ExCUSE me?!" 

I was delighted to see her face crumple into shock when she realised I wasn't going to let THAT one go. Not in a million years. She proceeded to explain that she'd actually said it to her friend, who was trying to steal the £10 note out of her hand. I gave her a look which said "Don't even DARE saying anything like that in front of me again or I will kick yo' ass in front of the class", although I wouldn't really know how to go about that.

The point I'm trying to make is that even though on the face of it, they sound like the class from hell, they're such a good class to work with if you're in training. There's not such a terrible amount of pressure on you, so you can test out your teaching skills and approaches, and also test how you react to misbehaviour, and it won't matter too much if something doesn't work so well.  

I've also had the chance to have little chats with a few of them, which is encouraging. I had a really in-depth discussion with a pupil who was upset that she had been predicted an E in her GCSE Maths; she thought it was the by-all and end-all, but when I explained that it was the grade she would get if she continued to spend lessons asleep with her head on the desk, she started getting on with some work. The all-important C-grade, great motivator.

They feel like they can tell me about quite personal things, too, like their home-life and relationships with parents/guardians. It's really sad to hear that the latter is becoming quite common; it also explains a lot about their attitude at school. When you realise what some pupils have to deal with outside the already-stressful environment of school, it's hardly surprising they really just want to make their time at school as relaxing as possible. Which rather suits me in one sense. But it's very hard to get them focused and motivated. Especially last lesson on a Friday... *shudder* ... Nevertheless. I'm really looking forward to taking over this class.

PS: The picture of the Russian-hat-and-Persian-scarf-wearing shocked-looking woman above. It's actually me. And that's not even a joke.

A new school...

Oh dear. It's been a while since I've written anything down, mainly because of the madness of moving house, gigs, a 2000-2500 word essay called an MCP and starting at a new school, all within a week! All of which have resulted in a slightly rotten cold... 'orrible germy children.

Not really. On Wednesday I started my 4-month placement at Norbury Manor Business and Enterprise College for Girls, and I have to say the pupils really are lovely. It reminds me quite a lot of my old school actually (Bexley Grammar School in Kent), with the exception that it's all girls (BGS's boys definitely made their presence known...) and that there is a much wider range of ability. In one day I observed a year 9 class who were already starting their GCSE work, to a Year 12 class who were having to resit their Maths GCSE and were still counting on their fingers.

I also made the error of coming into school in my nice grey suit and a blouse. True, it would have been worse were it the other way round (me coming into school in a tracksuit while the other teachers had on their tailored suits) but it was very odd seeing a Maths lesson taught by what looked like a PE teacher... at least now I know the appropriate dress code.

This is not it.

Thursday was pupil shadowing day. Meaning a volunteer Year 8 pupil (so tiny!) had agreed to take us around with them to all their lessons, just to get a better feel for the school and a better idea of a general school day for pupils. So yesterday I had ICT, Art, Maths (yay), Geography, Science and PE. Would have been quite a good day for me if I were back at school. Except for Maths.

You think I'm joking don't you...? I am really.

It was so lovely to see 'young ladies' (what we're supposed to call them) with such good manners. My shadowing pupil really made sure I felt looked after, assuring me she would take me to the staff room and pick me up again after lunch, and so on. I know the school's ethos works hard to promote this kind of behaviour, and that we must all lead by example as teachers. Therefore I must try and keep my South London voice under wraps at all times. I can see it now. "What do you mean 3 + -4 is 1? Shut it you shlaaaag..."

Once I get really stuck in next week I'll start doing some proper observations, rather than generic ramblings about the school. Although, one thing I was able to see yesterday was a pupil in a class with ADHD, and how she interacted with her learning assistant and others around her. At first I thought she had autism - in her Maths lesson, she seemed very calm and quiet, sitting doing a mid-term test, where everything was planned and structured. Then when it came to Science, is seemed there were a few things out of place, for example there being two student teachers (myself and my friend Lucy), a new teacher, and thus a different layout to the lesson.

I overheard some of her conversation with her learning support assistant at the back of the class.

"Miss where's Miss Crawford? I have to go and find her. She says her office is just next door to the staffroom. If I don't go and find her right now I have to go to West Croydon. Unless I can go and get her. NO I DON'T WANT TO SIT DOWN. I have to find Miss Crawford! If I don't find her I have to go and get the bus into West Croydon."

And so on. When she was finally coerced into sitting down, she became extremely disruptive, and started throwing pieces of paper around the classroom, shouting, and wandering around the room shouting at the others. It was shocking only because it was such a huge change from her Maths lesson two hours previously, in which we heard not a single peep from her. It just went to show how important having a well-structured lesson is, even more so when there are children with ADHD in your class. The picture above illustrates my worst nightmare as a teacher, but hopefully my lessons will be so good everyone will just want to get involved and not act up...

An introductory rambling.

Welcome, welcome! 

I've decided to start keeping a blog during my ITT (initial teacher training) year, not just to keep all you lovely folks partially amused but mostly to keep track of my experiences, thoughts and progress through the year. So really it's more of a diary. Which anyone in the world can read. You nosy people.

Anyway, I'm afraid you'll have to look elsewhere if you want some juicy gossip - today is the first day, of my third week, of my Secondary Mathematics PGCE. I have been attending numerous tutor-led sessions, regarding educational hot topics such as The Nature of Mathematics, Pedagogy (a strange word which refers to the way in which you teach your chosen subject), Microteaching, SEN, and of course, Behaviour Management.

Managing Behaviour. It seems to be the primary concern of all trainee teachers, especially after receiving this interesting snippet of knowledge: 

The working atmosphere in the classroom: a ten-level scale

Level 10 sounds like a dream. "You feel completely relaxed and comfortable; able to undertake any activity without concern. Class control not an issue - teachers and pupils work together, enjoying the experiences involved." Stevie Wonder's Ebony and Ivory is playing in my head.

Now have a look just a couple of levels down, at Level 6. "You don't really look forward to teaching the class." is the first line. It goes on to say "... At times you feel harassed... it is difficult to get pupils to stop talking... it is a major effort to establish and maintain a calm working atmosphere."

... You know you want to hear about a Level 1 classroom atmosphere. Well here you go; "Your entry into the classroom is greeted by cheers and abuse." 

Good start. 

It continues. Yes it does. "...you turn a blind eye to some atrocities(!) because you feel your intervention may lead to confrontation, or escalation of the problem." The punchline? "You wish you had never gone into teaching."

We have been assured that our lessons, on the scale, rarely drop below a level 6. I should bloomin' well hope so. 

But herein lies the crux of the matter - how do we achieve higher levels of this scale in our own lessons? It looks like an immense balancing act; there are so many things to remember. Such as, asserting your physical presence, acting confidently, use of contingent praise, whilst making your lessons interesting and engaging, not being too munificent with praise or punishment, establishing your reputation AND... breathing.

But we have been assured it takes time. We won't be experts straight away, but we have to simply try our best and the technique will come. 

Hopefully soon-ish. Since our first placement starts in a week and I'm worried I might resort to the ol' Karate Sensei Disciplinary Technique of giving push-ups. Mightn't go down too well.