I didn't realise lesson planning was so hard.

I think this will just be a short one - the point I'm making is self-evident in the title really.

So at Norbury Manor, there are 16 student teachers. Yes, 16. We've pretty much invaded the staff room, with our enormous cafetiére and shared coffee mornings (I now know why teachers smell of coffee - without it teachers die), and also our stories about our first teaching experiences. But, we two in the Maths department (Caroline and I) have been feeling slightly left out, in that most of the ST's in other subjects have taken over their given classes already. I was thinking it might be to do with the nature of Maths, that you can't really chop and change too much with the topics you're teaching - you can't teach 'Equations' before you've taught 'Algebra' for example. But I've been there for three weeks now and I'm getting a little bit bored of just observing.

So I mentioned it in my mentor meeting, that I'd quite like to get stuck in and start teaching. Personally I quite like being chucked in at the deep end and told to get on with it, something about the pressure of it. Might also explain why I preferred exams to coursework. So we've been given a nice little folder with the pupils' scheme of work in, and told to start preparing some lessons to give before half term, with the aim of taking full responsibility for classes after half term (one week to go!)

So I read the advice from the IoE regarding lesson planning. It says that, initially, planning for an hour lesson will take us 2-3 hours. This was my expression at first;

But it actually does.

You have to think about, and plan for, many different scenarios apart from the actual teaching of the subject itself. What pupils might struggle with. If any pupils in the class will need extra support. How long certain tasks will take. Extra provision for those really nerdy kids that finish really quickly. Also continuous assessment is a big thing at the moment.

Next to every task or activity you set, you have to explain how you are going to assess the pupils' learning, and whether they have learnt anything from you in the measly 50 minutes you have with them. Mini whiteboards are bloody great.

So this is a Year 7 class 2 times a week, a Year 8 class 3 times a week, and my wonderful Year 10 bottom set 4 times a week. That's 9 classes a week, and I just know that proper teachers are thinking 'That's nothing...' But they've got bare skills (yes, I'm down with the kids) in lesson planning, some saying they plan lessons in their heads. Except when Ofsted pay a visit. 

So in conclusion, I started my lesson plans for Year 8 'Pie Charts' and Year 7 'Angles' at 7.45pm tonight. I started writing this blog post at 11.23pm. And they're not finished yet. 

The day Shania* was in a REALLY bad mood...

I know every teacher's dream is to teach a class which is completely compliant, hard-working and amiable, but actually this is not my dream, as a student teacher. It's soooo boooring observing a lesson where no pupil is out of place, no pupil needs help because they all know how to listen and follow instructions, and no pupil wants to talk to you because they're too busy working. I just end up looking like a nuisance, as much use as a fridge in an igloo.

I have to say I'm loving the more challenging classes, the ones who act up and seem like they are impossible to control. I admit to being only ever so slightly dismayed after being timetabled to take over a bottom-set GCSE class ("WHYYY?" I recall myself saying) who will, at best, get a C in GCSE Maths. But I think they are actually the most interesting.

Firstly, they're so easily distracted. If they are upset or roused, it will take the rest of the lesson to restore a good working atmosphere which isn't punctuated by song/dance/banter/friendly abuse/etc. Their usual teacher is so good for them; she's got glacial patience, never reacting to their bizarre mannerisms and is calm, clear, and concise. That is going to be my mantra for this class in particular - be calm, clear and concise.

Or just calm will work.

They also need a lot more pointers. They will not see that there are two triangles in this picture;

one with two sides of length x and a, and another with two sides of length x+y and a+b. Things need to be repeated again and again, using various approaches. But in the end, when they are actually engaged with the work, they are all perfectly capable.

One student in particular, who for confidential reasons I shall name Shania*, has a reputation around the school and the staff room for being an absolute nightmare. I can see why; she talks very, VERY loud and fast, is very intimidating, and has a really bad attitude problem. She goes like this a lot; "MmmmHMMMM" and huffs around the classroom like a tiny bad-tempered elephant. I decided compile a small list of other things she said during today's double lesson;

"Don't even TALK to me today."

"Miss it smells like, rank in here today. I'ma put the fan on."

"I need some BARE sweets man, if no-one gives me none I'ma BUY them from the shop, you get me?"

... and so on. I was warned that she likes to test new teachers, and push the boundaries to see how far she can get. So then the conversation turned to me.

"Miss, what's your name?!"

"I'm called Miss Mitchell. What's your name?"

"I'm Shania innit. So are you like from Eastenders?"

at which point the rest of the class (Mean Girls style) said "Oh my God Shania you can't just ask people if they're from Eastenders." 

The conversation continued.

"Miss, where are you going for lunch?"

"Erm the staff room probably. Why is this relevant?"

"Because I want MacDonalds really badleee,  PLEASE will you go and get me some because I'm not allowed to leave the school and that because I'm like only in Year 10."

"No I'm sorry, I can't do that."

"Go on Miss, get me Nando's or sumfink!"

"Sorry Shania."

"Oh well FUCK you then!"

...

What I hadn't realised was that her regular teacher was out of the room at this point. Leaving me to react as I saw fit. Which was to give her my most incredulous, dangerous look and say;

"ExCUSE me?!" 

I was delighted to see her face crumple into shock when she realised I wasn't going to let THAT one go. Not in a million years. She proceeded to explain that she'd actually said it to her friend, who was trying to steal the £10 note out of her hand. I gave her a look which said "Don't even DARE saying anything like that in front of me again or I will kick yo' ass in front of the class", although I wouldn't really know how to go about that.

The point I'm trying to make is that even though on the face of it, they sound like the class from hell, they're such a good class to work with if you're in training. There's not such a terrible amount of pressure on you, so you can test out your teaching skills and approaches, and also test how you react to misbehaviour, and it won't matter too much if something doesn't work so well.  

I've also had the chance to have little chats with a few of them, which is encouraging. I had a really in-depth discussion with a pupil who was upset that she had been predicted an E in her GCSE Maths; she thought it was the by-all and end-all, but when I explained that it was the grade she would get if she continued to spend lessons asleep with her head on the desk, she started getting on with some work. The all-important C-grade, great motivator.

They feel like they can tell me about quite personal things, too, like their home-life and relationships with parents/guardians. It's really sad to hear that the latter is becoming quite common; it also explains a lot about their attitude at school. When you realise what some pupils have to deal with outside the already-stressful environment of school, it's hardly surprising they really just want to make their time at school as relaxing as possible. Which rather suits me in one sense. But it's very hard to get them focused and motivated. Especially last lesson on a Friday... *shudder* ... Nevertheless. I'm really looking forward to taking over this class.

PS: The picture of the Russian-hat-and-Persian-scarf-wearing shocked-looking woman above. It's actually me. And that's not even a joke.

I used my teacher voice today.

Yes. I finally got the chance to perform some disciplinary vocal maneuvers on some misbehaving Year 8 pupils today, which had been designated by Norbury Manor School as a 'Deep Learning Day'. This involved sitting in Ma4 with the same 30 Year 8's ALL DAY, and so no wonder the girls were getting slightly rowdy. I felt like putting someone in a headlock too.

That's what happened basically. Two girls were having (what looked like) a playful scrap (surely that's what should only happen at an all-boys' school? You'd be surprised at the things that go on in this school...) in the corridor, while making their way round the Maths department, looking at the others' work. The mathematics deep learning day involved building familiar structures out of different 3-D shapes, designing nets to form these shapes out of card and paper, and which were then presented at the end of the day. It was a really good day actually, not only due to the fact they need to know 3-D shapes for their exams, or that it improves spatial reasoning, but they had to be really organised, knowing how many of each shape they would need, and how big it would end up being. Lots in the hidden curriculum there...

Our group had 'London' as their designated theme. Others including 'Futuristic', 'Shanghai' and even 'Marioland'. I couldn't help but feel slightly cheated.

We were shown pictures for inspiration. Like;

and;

In reality, the kids' work looked like this;

It wasn't that bad really. But I digress. On their way around to view the other constructions, two girls managed to get each other in a headlock in the middle of the corridor. I just happened to come out of our room when confronted by this horrific scene of masculine demonstration.

I'm quite surprised that my instinctive reaction was the correct one; not screaming and shouting at the top of my voice, projecting an extremely low and threatening boom of a voice which spake thus;

"GIRLS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SHOULDN'T YOU BE IN YOUR DESIGNATED CLASSROOM?!"

This is just some photographic evidence of me being really angry and really mathematical and sexy all at the same time.

But in all seriousness, I've been worrying recently about me trying to implement the multitudes of teaching practices we've been instructed to do, whether I'll be able to remember everything and whether I'll look really foolish in front of everybody. But it was quite a boost in my confidence that my voice naturally went very stern, and that the perpetrators sprang apart immediately looking very sheepish.

Although this may be to do with the karate training I used to instruct. Or the fact that I'm naturally very bossy.

A new school...

Oh dear. It's been a while since I've written anything down, mainly because of the madness of moving house, gigs, a 2000-2500 word essay called an MCP and starting at a new school, all within a week! All of which have resulted in a slightly rotten cold... 'orrible germy children.

Not really. On Wednesday I started my 4-month placement at Norbury Manor Business and Enterprise College for Girls, and I have to say the pupils really are lovely. It reminds me quite a lot of my old school actually (Bexley Grammar School in Kent), with the exception that it's all girls (BGS's boys definitely made their presence known...) and that there is a much wider range of ability. In one day I observed a year 9 class who were already starting their GCSE work, to a Year 12 class who were having to resit their Maths GCSE and were still counting on their fingers.

I also made the error of coming into school in my nice grey suit and a blouse. True, it would have been worse were it the other way round (me coming into school in a tracksuit while the other teachers had on their tailored suits) but it was very odd seeing a Maths lesson taught by what looked like a PE teacher... at least now I know the appropriate dress code.

This is not it.

Thursday was pupil shadowing day. Meaning a volunteer Year 8 pupil (so tiny!) had agreed to take us around with them to all their lessons, just to get a better feel for the school and a better idea of a general school day for pupils. So yesterday I had ICT, Art, Maths (yay), Geography, Science and PE. Would have been quite a good day for me if I were back at school. Except for Maths.

You think I'm joking don't you...? I am really.

It was so lovely to see 'young ladies' (what we're supposed to call them) with such good manners. My shadowing pupil really made sure I felt looked after, assuring me she would take me to the staff room and pick me up again after lunch, and so on. I know the school's ethos works hard to promote this kind of behaviour, and that we must all lead by example as teachers. Therefore I must try and keep my South London voice under wraps at all times. I can see it now. "What do you mean 3 + -4 is 1? Shut it you shlaaaag..."

Once I get really stuck in next week I'll start doing some proper observations, rather than generic ramblings about the school. Although, one thing I was able to see yesterday was a pupil in a class with ADHD, and how she interacted with her learning assistant and others around her. At first I thought she had autism - in her Maths lesson, she seemed very calm and quiet, sitting doing a mid-term test, where everything was planned and structured. Then when it came to Science, is seemed there were a few things out of place, for example there being two student teachers (myself and my friend Lucy), a new teacher, and thus a different layout to the lesson.

I overheard some of her conversation with her learning support assistant at the back of the class.

"Miss where's Miss Crawford? I have to go and find her. She says her office is just next door to the staffroom. If I don't go and find her right now I have to go to West Croydon. Unless I can go and get her. NO I DON'T WANT TO SIT DOWN. I have to find Miss Crawford! If I don't find her I have to go and get the bus into West Croydon."

And so on. When she was finally coerced into sitting down, she became extremely disruptive, and started throwing pieces of paper around the classroom, shouting, and wandering around the room shouting at the others. It was shocking only because it was such a huge change from her Maths lesson two hours previously, in which we heard not a single peep from her. It just went to show how important having a well-structured lesson is, even more so when there are children with ADHD in your class. The picture above illustrates my worst nightmare as a teacher, but hopefully my lessons will be so good everyone will just want to get involved and not act up...